Wednesday
Feb162022

Swipe Left

Love is in the air. Or maybe it’s desperation. Who can tell anymore?

In any case, this week was Valentine’s Day, and happy couples snuggled on dates, unhappy couples forced displays of intimacy, and single people either ignored the holiday or shrieked that they hate everyone who has ever been in a relationship anywhere at any time.

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Wednesday
Feb092022

Look Up

Nominations for the Academy Awards were announced this week. I live in Los Angeles, so this event is all-encompassing. You can be walking down the street, and strangers will rush up to argue with you about best documentary short.

In any case, Don’t Look Up got four nominations, including best picture. That’s quite a bit of love for a movie described as “shrill,” “smug,” “bombastic,” and “propaganda.”

Damn—regardless of whether you loved or hated Don’t Look Up, it is obviously the most culturally relevant mainstream film of the year. You can tell a lot about Americans by asking them if they liked this movie.

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Wednesday
Feb022022

Gentrify Your Mind

With the country going to hell, nobody would get judgmental if you wanted to take the edge off. Maybe it’s a beer after work, or a quick hit on the bong, or a couple of happy pills. Regardless of the specific drug you prefer, the fact is that humans like to get buzzed, and almost every culture has a method of altering our consciousness.

But like most aspects of contemporary life, racial and class differences are prevalent in this most basic of activities. For example, both the government and big businesses have a growing interest in the pharmaceutical, medical, and psychological benefits of psychedelics. Apparently, eating shrooms and dropping ecstasy can be good for you, at least under the right circumstances.

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Friday
Jan282022

Rebound

You can blame that son of bitch Martin Van Buren. 

Yes, I’m sure we all harbor animosity for America’s eighth president—right? The guy had few achievements, but one goal he accomplished still lingers, to the point of festering. Van Buren’s “longest-lasting contribution has been the two-party political system.”

So the fact that you have just two choices for president? Yeah, that’s old Marty’s doing.

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Friday
Jan212022

Subjugation

They’re coming for you. 

OK, I don’t know exactly who “they” are, but trust me, if you are a Republican, you’re next.

Yes, the “ludicrous idea that conservatives are particularly oppressed has been a theme of right-wing activism at large throughout the Trump era.” And we have now reached the logical conclusion of a political movement based upon fictional persecution, which is that “all of American life is a woke hellscape” that true patriots must vanquish.

For example, if a thuggish teenager murders a couple of leftists in the street, he becomes an “avatar of this imagined oppression for the next generation of conservatives,” who are outraged that “the system dared put him on trial for it.” Similarly, lunatics who stormed the capitol are the real victims of the January 6 riot, because some of them might miss their Caribbean vacations.

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