Tweet Storm

I rarely tweet (unlike our fascistic president).

But I am still able to tweet (unlike our fascistic president).

In any case, the recent riots in Washington DC provoked me to send out tweet after tweet, mostly because it was a good way to corral my thoughts about a full-fledged insurrection going down in real time.

You see, whenever some travesty or grotesque injustice occurs in our frazzled country, I usually focus on one or two key issues and write a lengthy article about it. However, the sight of redneck Nazis bum-rushing the nation’s capital conjured up multiple storylines, all of them grim. So instead of writing 87 separate posts about this right-wing siege on democracy, I will just compile my tweets here, because there is a lot going on.

So here are my tweets, a kind of instant time capsule, starting with the earliest and ending with my most recent missive today. Here we go:

For four years, liberals have been saying Trump was a sociopath who would lead us into chaos and violence. Today, the GOP acted surprised when chaos and violence erupted.

GOP (every day since 2016): "You liberals suffer from Trump Derangement Disorder. Why do you have so much hatred?" GOP (since yesterday): "Holy shit, Trump is a dangerous lunatic. Who possibly could have known?"

If you support a neo-fascist lunatic for 3 years, 11.5 months, you don’t get credit for ducking out for the last two weeks.

Post-Watergate, the GOP was supposedly finished. Post-GW Bush, the GOP was supposedly finished. Post-Trump, the GOP is supposedly finished. Third time's a charm?

Trump supporters: "It was Antifi! They infiltrated us! The cops held the doors open to draw us in! The deep state planned the whole thing!" Once again, conservatives who shriek about personal responsibility will say anything to avoid personal responsibility.

Has anyone checked with Q about when the mass arrest of child-eating Satanists begins? This is just the last move in Trump's brilliant 4-D chess match, right? Right?

GOP congressmen: Kids hiding under desks from gunmen is the price of freedom. Same GOP congressmen: Hiding under our desks from an angry mob is unacceptable. Conservative mantra: Nothing is a problem unless it affects me.

In retrospect, calling his hardcore supporters "deplorable" was too kind.

This will be the last time I ask this question: Are you tired of all the winning yet?

"I am deeply regretful" or I got caught up in the moment" are sad excuses from teens who steal cars for joyrides. They are not sufficient explanations from grown men who commit violent treason and get people killed.

GOP: Private businesses can deny service because you're gay. Also the GOP: Private businesses can't deny service if you call for violent sedition that gets people killed.

The GOP has finally agreed with progressives that Trump is a wannabe fascist, so now would be a good time to agree that he is also a racist misogynist. Or do you want to keep defending him on that one too?

For 20 years — from invading Iraq to supporting Trump — the GOP has insisted it knew best and that liberals were anti-American fools. After every disaster, the GOP then says, "Oh well, time to move on."

Conservative conversation: "We look really bad now, guys. How can we distract people?" "We can scream about Big Tech and free speech and censorship." "Isn't that a tone-deaf response to a deadly attack on America?" "We got nothing else." "Fuck it. Start bitching and moaning."

Trump's chief objection to the rioters was that they looked "low class" (which they did). Aside from his misplaced priorities, it's ironic that the people most willing to kill and die for Trump are the last people on Earth he would deign to talk to.

If you voted for Trump for the tax cuts, I hope it was worth it. The rate of inflation on blood money is staggeringly high.

I've heard people say that the assault on the capitol defines Trump's legacy. Only in an administration as horrific as this could a botched response to a pandemic that killed 350k Americans be relegated to the #2 slot.

Surprised that no journalists have tried to justify the abhorrent behavior of Trump supporters by claiming they're suffering from "economic anxiety" or "being cruelly left behind." Yeah, that argument aged well.

GOP believes punishing Trump to deter future autocrats is overkill. GOP also believes yanking kids out of their mothers’ arms at the border deters illegal crossings, harshly penalizing BLM protesters deters vandalism, and keeping money from unemployed people deters laziness.

The GOP's argument is that impeaching Trump will make his supporters angry and violent. No, we don't want to do that. Because to this point, they have all been so calm and reasonable.

For years, this country mythologized Trump supporters. They were "left behind," unfairly stereotyped, deserved to have their voices heard, etc. Now we hear we can't punish rioters because Trump supporters might get angry. When do we stop making decisions based on how they feel?

Congressional Democrats have been informed by the House Administration Committee that “the purchase of a bulletproof vest is a reimbursable expense.” This is a perfectly normal sentence that we always hear in functioning democracies.

Some in GOP fear voting to impeach, because they’re afraid Trump supporters will assassinate them. Trying to imagine Democrats having a similar fear about their own base, but it’s absurd. 

GOP afraid psycho mob they created will turn on them. On top of being traitors and cowards, GOP was stupid enough to believe it could control bloodthirsty lunatics:

GOP admits their base consists of homicidal racists. Wait a minute. I thought they were patriots suffering from economic anxiety. Are you implying Trump and his enablers lied to us?

Interesting how liberals are “sheep” when we’re not the ones storming government buildings and committing treason just because one angry guy told us to do it.

Old GOP: "We don't cut and run. No negotiating with terrorists!" New GOP: "No, we can't possibly punish the terrorists, or daddy will be angry with us."

Hey you Republicans, let me ask you a question you hurled at progressives 20 years ago: Why do you want the terrorists to win?

Four impeachments in US presidential history. Trump accounts for half of them by himself. He really is the best at something.

Bday Blues

Yesterday was my birthday, and no, I did not ask for coup d'état, so whichever despotic lunatic ordered one should kindly take it back for a full refund.

Of course, redneck Nazis storming the capitol is less of a shocker and more the inevitable final act to a presidency based on lies, authoritarian tactics, racist appeals, and conspiratorial rationales.

Every day since Trump announced his candidacy in 2015, Republicans have been smugly dismissing the legitimate concerns of progressives as Trump Derangement Disorder, and snapping that we need to get in line and stop hating the president.

And then this morning, the GOP exclaimed, “Holy shit, Trump is a dangerous madman. Who possibly could have known?"

For years, liberals have been saying Trump was a sociopath who would lead us into chaos and violence. Today, the GOP acted surprised when chaos and violence erupted.

But if you supported a neo-fascist freak for three years, eleven and half months, you don’t get credit for ducking out for the last two weeks.

Republicans could have removed Trump via impeachment just one year ago. But they demurred.

Interestingly, Republicans are now openly debating getting rid of this crazed imbecile through the 25th Amendment. Many conservatives are also now willing to say Biden actually won the election. 

And all it took was a riot, the attempted overthrow of the government, and someone getting shot to death in the capitol.

Before yesterday’s insurgency, the capitol had been “overrun by a mass group one other time, in 1814 during the War of 1812, when British troops set fire to the building.”

And not even Robert E. Lee came close to marching through the capitol waving a Confederate battle flag.

So these are Trump’s latest milestones, to go along with the unprecedented death and destruction that he has provoked across America.

Yesterday, the president asked right-wing thugs to attack his enemies. And they did as he asked. So who the hell is actually surprised?

This is what happens “when one group of Americans are taught generationally to believe they are the sole, true owners of a country their ancestors seized from the indigenous and reaped via the blood and toil of others they never viewed as fully human.”

Now, we could ask a number of unpleasant rhetorical questions. Such as why are we spending $700 billion on defense when a bunch of hairy old men can just take over the seat of US government in five minutes flat?

We could also ask what would have happened if the rioters were Black? Ha, just kidding — we all know the answer to that one.

But ultimately, it comes down to one undisputable fact:

Those assholes totally ruined my birthday.

A Memento

Yes, we all know that it has been an abysmal year. A lethal, chaotic, maddening, insane year, so ghastly and crushing that the phrase “2020” will no longer cause people to think about the gauge of perfect eyesight or the TV newsmagazine from the 1980s.

When we hear “2020,” we will think of Trump and coronavirus and George Floyd and fights over facemasks and botched coups and protests in the street and fear and anger and confusion and the days that merged into one another as we huddled in isolation.

Basically, nobody will ever refer to this era as the good old days.

But before you say goodbye to this nightmarish year, grab a souvenir of 2020.

I have co-written a collection of short stories, and the book is now for sale on Amazon and elsewhere.

“Feed the Monster Alphabet Soup” is sort of Edward Gory for adults, with stories about a third grader who confronts the devil, an insecure superhero who can’t handle stress, a newborn who sells her placenta to the highest bidder, and other twisted tales.

So if you want to know what to do if you just start floating into the sky one day, or how to handle it when suburban gossip inevitably morphs into a grenade-heavy firefight in the cul-de-sac, pick up a copy here.

Thanks

Black Christmas

Just a quick note to say Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas and good riddance to 2020 and pleasant thoughts to you, onward and upward, forever and ever, amen.

Of course, this holiday season is a unique combination of depressing, horrifying, frustrating, disorienting, and disquieting. 

It is also a time of great irony. After all, Republicans have long warned us about a supposed “War on Christmas” that mainly consisted of arguments about the wording on Starbucks cups.

But it is a Republican president who has brought disaster and calamity — American carnage, if you will —to Christmas. For millions of Americans, Christmas is cancelled, because they cannot be in the same room as their loved ones. Or the entire season has become a paranoid dance with death, as we dismiss warnings to not gather together and then act shocked when everyone in our family gets infected.

Christmas has never been so bleak — let alone so dangerous — but the Trump Administration has accomplished it.

They have waged the ultimate War on Christmas.

Happy Holidays, everyone.

No Guardrails

Once you’ve attempted to destroy democracy, overthrow the government, and seize power, it’s a little difficult to say, “Just kidding.”

Yes, I’m sure that in future years, many Republican leaders will insist they never intended to break the country wide open. They were just indulging in “political theater.”

However, even political theater is usually principled or symbolic. It is not, in general, a dangerous and delusional maneuver that breaks through “the last level of neo-fascism.”

Now, we have heard apologists explain that the recent actions of Republicans don’t prove that they are actively hostile to democracy. Supposedly, all these conservative leaders are just appeasing Trump. 

But two rejoinders come to mind:

First, haven’t they done enough appeasing for several lifetimes? And to what end? The guy lost and may end up killing off their political party. And still they’re scared of him?

Second, the idea that the GOP is just trying to keep Trump happy is the equivalent of saying, “I punched my kid in the face only because my husband insisted, and I didn’t want to make him angry.” It’s not an excuse.

The truth is that much of the right wing is all for tearing down America, and they need very little provocation to abandon any coherent political philosophy.

You see, the political party that hates judicial activism wanted judges to be active as hell and overrule voters. The party of states’ rights didn’t want states to run themselves, and instead be subservient to bigger states (like, for example, Texas). The party for freedom and against tyranny wanted to nullify an election and install its own president.

And this is not just a few rogue Republicans. It is vast swaths of the GOP and a majority of conservative voters. In fact, “about 64% of the entire House Republican conference supported Trump’s attempts to invalidate Biden's win, using baseless allegations of widespread voter fraud as their reasoning.”

Even today, “three-quarters of Trump voters said congressional Republicans should try to keep Trump in power.” Furthermore, over 80% of Trump voters believe that Biden stole the election by committing fraud so egregious and obvious that you would have to be a moron to miss it. At the same time, the fraud is so subtle and devious that no one can find a single shred of evidence or proof. 

That is one tricky balancing act. Damn those sinister liberals.

In any case, many people thought Trump supporters would snap out of it and come to accept reality.

But they will not.

Hardcore Trumpists have turned on conservatives who question their god’s perfection. They have called for violence and martial law. They have made it clear that they will always follow this sniveling old man who “awakened an authoritarian impulse among the citizenry that was far larger and more rabid, and more easily triggered, than most of us ever imagined.”

The specifics and the level of danger may be unique to our time, but “there is a long history of building community cohesion by encouraging members to ignore the facts of the world around them.” After all, the people who believe the Earth is round don’t need to build a community. Reality handles that for them. But when faith and belief clash with logic, reason, and facts, a massive disconnect occurs. And sometimes, “the disconnect between belief and reality is precisely the point,” because when this gap “gets really large and the community becomes more insulated, cults arise.

And that is where we are today, with a cult masquerading as a political party, and truth up for grabs. And when reality itself is debatable, the world spins into chaos and cacophony.

In other words, it’s all very 2020.