Closing Arguments

Throughout this long, miserable campaign season, every day the news was like “Trump vows to deport gay, left-handed Asian dentists.”

And the next day the news was like “Polls show surge in Trump support among gay, left-handed Asian dentists.”

I can’t explain it. Fuck it, give me another drink.

If a racist rally — a Coachella for bigots — isn’t enough to convince you that both parties are not the same, you are beyond reason. Maybe one day, you will snap out of your right-wing delusion and realize, “Hey, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to vote for guy who assaults women and tried to overthrow the government.”

We are going to elect a politically moderate, well-qualified woman who will continue economic policies that work pretty well.

Or we will elect a felonious, sociopathic lunatic who will likely drive the economy into the ground, open to the door to autocracy and oligarchy, and make life hell for everyone who is a not a white straight Christian male (until eventually turning on them too, because nobody comes out unscathed when under the thumb of an venal, incompetent dictator).

It really is one or the other.

Good luck, America.