Campus Hijinks

At first, I avoided discussing the war in Gaza because I am not well-versed in Middle Eastern history, culture, or politics. But then I realized that 99% of the people spewing cocksure opinions about the war are even less informed than I am.

I still procrastinated on writing about this catastrophe, however, because there have been so many other debacles to analyze, such as the fact that an angry bigot is literally farting his way through the first criminal trial of a former president in US history.

But the recent protests on college campuses around the nation, and even around the world, have cajoled me into addressing the Israel-Palestinian conflict. And the deeply profound, searingly intellectual analysis that I’ve come up with is “Wow, this shit is fucked up.”

No one can deny that Hamas are bloodthirsty lunatics who exist to murder Jews and don’t even care if their own people are killed in the crossfire.

No one can deny that the Israeli government is massacring civilians in zealous, depraved indifference while failing miserably at its stated goals (i.e., freeing the hostages and eliminating Hamas)

On college campuses, it’s inspiring to see young people politically involved and putting themselves at risk for a higher cause. But it’s repulsive that some of the protesters “have cheered on murderous terrorist groups or recast even those who slaughtered innocent civilians as ‘resistance’ fighters.” 

Meanwhile, Jewish students are facing “serious threats of violence” or hearing “their classmates argue they should be killed.” And Muslim students are being harassed or threatened.

Even with all that tension, most of the protests have been peaceful. Well, that is until “the police have been brought in,” in which case “protesters have been arrested with varying degrees of force, with some thrown to the ground, tackled, tear-gassed, fired upon with rubber bullets, or otherwise manhandled by law enforcement called in by the universities.”

Yes, conservatives who claim to be fierce defenders of free speech on campus are delighted if cops billy-club progressives quiet. These same conservatives also insist that they are standing up for Jewish culture, even if they were strangely silent when mobs of torch-wielding Nazis chanted, “Jews will not replace us.” I guess that wasn’t anti-Semitic.

And speaking of mobs, we recently witnessed a crowd of white frat boys threatening a lone black female protester on campus. Conservatives loved the imagery, although I’m unsure if they were more taken with the idea of dozens of men cornering a single woman, white people making monkey noises at a black person, or the combination of both that flashed back to the good ole’ days of Deep South racism and misogyny. Really, conservatives were positively giddy at this grotesquery.

Now, when right-wingers aren’t cheering on violence or bigotry, they are “mocking student protesters” as a “fun and easy pastime.”

Yes, it was all pretty hilarious here in Los Angeles, at least until thugs invaded UCLA and started “beating people with batons and poles and screaming racial epithets.” These zealots “dragged, kicked and pummeled” protesters “while police and campus security stood by for three hours before responding.”

Yeah, not so funny anymore. Is it?

I stand by my original assessment. Wow, this shit is fucked up.