Days to Come

“We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.”

— Criswell, Plan 9 From Outer Space

I have been predicting a World Series victory for my Milwaukee Brewers every year for the last decade. Clearly, my powers of prognostication are not as strong as they could be.

But you don’t have to be psychic to know that the future does not look bright for America. I’m not just talking about our crumbling institutions, vanishing freedoms, and shaky economy.

I’m talking about China, baby.

Yes, the last communist empire is getting ready to dominate the hell out of us in the coming years. Experts say “policymakers in Beijing believe they will benefit from the destruction of America’s global credibility,” and that China is “aggressively contesting the innovative sectors where the United States has long been the unquestioned leader.”

The result is that China is poised to lead the world in technology, economic strength, and sociopolitical power, leaving the USA in its dust.

But don’t you worry, the Trump administration is fighting back. For example, they are “gutting our national scientific institutions and workforce that spur US innovation.” And they are obsessing over “what teams American transgender athletes can race on, [while] China is focused on transforming its factories with AI so it can outrace all our factories.”

OK, maybe that is not so inspiring. In fact, if you were trying to throw the game and let China win, you would likely do exactly what the White House is doing.

Still, the Trump administration must have some kind of master plan to maintain America’s strength. They must possess a uniquely brilliant strategy, considering we have been told—over and over again—that they are the smartest, most competent group of patriots ever assembled. And the scourge of DEI is no longer oppressing them.

So what’s their approach to this geopolitical crisis?

No one knows.

You see, it’s unclear who is actually running this country. The Trump administration is a mishmash of morons, sociopaths, sycophants, and random dudes who just meandered in. We’re talking about people who don’t even show up for their jobs, can’t keep their conspiracy theories straight, and are woefully out of their depth. 

Nobody in the White House knows what to do, so their days are spent screaming “Illegals!” and threatening trans people. That’s it as far as insightful thinking and productive action.

This amalgamation of dullards and lunatics has prepped America for a future where the nation will be left “corrupt, stagnant, and impoverished.”

And that’s if we don’t devolve into civil war.

No, it’s not the rosiest prediction. With such a grim fate looming over us, somedays the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that this year, the Milwaukee Brewers will finally win the World Series.

You can count on that one. Trust me.