Bugged

Consider the gypsy moth.

This humble creature flits about, doing moth things, living its moth life, and dreaming its moth dreams.

And even though it never wanted to be another flash point in this nation’s endless culture wars, the gypsy moth is now a catalyst for political arguments, proving that there is nothing — and I mean nothing— that Americans will not fight about.

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Flipping the Script

There are numerous aggravating hypocrisies that permeate our culture, such as right-wingers using the word “Orwellian” to refer to anything they don’t like, even if it has nothing to do with Orwell’s theories. However, using doublespeak to espouse doublespeak is not as egregious as claiming victimhood in order to maintain power.

Yes, “many White conservatives roll their eyes when Black people claim that systemic racism exists,” yet these same individuals “have steadily built a legal and political movement that claims White people are the primary victims of covert forms of racism embedded in American institutions.”

It’s a nifty trick. Racism doesn’t exist, except whenever White people feel they’re not in charge as God intended.

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Sick in America

For the first time in two years, I went to the doctor for a physical. My numbers are good, except that my blood pressure is borderline high. My doctor recommended that I lower my stress, which I will do as soon as I leave planet Earth and fly off to a marvelous wonderland of peace and love and dancing fairies. Yes, I’ll get right on that, doc.

In any case, I’m in better shape than a lot of people my age, especially my fellow Latinos. You see, a recent study has found that many Hispanics have heart issues, and no, the cause isn’t all those sad Spanish ballads. Researchers believe that “feeling stigmatized, threatened or discriminated against correlates with structural heart abnormalities in Latinos,” meaning that racism is not just infuriating, it is literally lethal.

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Generation Ick

I will now present my complex psychological theory that has no basis in data or scientific study, but which I am positive is true (hey, at least I’m honest when I’m just guessing).

In any case, here is my theory:

The Cold War lasted 40 years. During that time, nuclear Armageddon was a constant worry. Yes, Baby Boomers had the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Gen Xers had Reagan joking about bombing Russia. In both cases, an entire generation of Americans grew up with the threat of nuclear war and the possibility that the world would end in an instant. 

It’s conceivable that this existentialist dread fucked people up and made them bitter and apocalyptic for the rest of their lives. And that’s why today we have Boomers indifferent to climate change, and Gen Xers storming the capitol. Hey, why not? Everything is going to shit anyway, right?

Again, I can’t prove any of this. But if some of you readers in grad school are looking for an honors thesis, feel free to run with this hypothesis.

And you’re welcome.

Now, you might be asking, what about the Millennials?

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Live and Learn

When I was a kid, I learned in school that the Lincoln-Douglas debates were intellectual tour de forces of democracy in action. But I didn’t hear that Stephen Douglas argued that “this government was made on the White basis, by White men, for the benefit of White men and their posterity forever, and should be administered by White men and none others.”

I also learned that Charles Lindbergh was a hero who exemplified can-do American spirit. But I didn’t hear that he fraternized with Nazis, extolled anti-Semitism, and embraced a bizarre scientific theory that White men should be made immortal so that they could rule for all eternity.

I learned that Black people got out of control and burned down Watts. But I didn’t hear that White people got out of control and burned down Tulsa.

And I believe the Trail of Tears was mentioned once in passing.

You get the idea. I received what was regarded as a well-rounded education. Unfortunately, it was just slightly full of bigoted bullshit.

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