Thursday
May132021

You're Gonna Pay For That

How much would you pay to eradicate racism?

Presumably, you would offer somewhere between a dollar and everything you have.

But let’s reverse the question. How much would you pay to preserve racism?

Um… ok… What the hell kind of question is that?

Only hardcore bigots would throw away their cash to keep racism alive, right?

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Friday
May072021

Hex

You know those horror movies where gypsy crones cast unspeakable curses upon innocent white people? Yeah, they’re pretty cool.

But it’s never explained why these powerful sorcerers are inevitably portrayed as enfeebled, misshapen paupers. I mean, if you could conjure dark forces and unstoppable demons to perform your bidding, wouldn’t you devote a little time to, say, whipping up a batch of proper dental care? At the very least, why are you living in a ramshackle hut, when you could demand a palace?

Well, a similar cognitive dissonance occurs in the world of politics.

A large percentage of right-wingers truly believe that a nefarious cadre of liberals are working with the deep state to thwart conservatives (i.e., the real Americans).

However, it’s never explained why, if liberals are so powerful, they can’t pass basic gun control or universal health care, like every other industrialized nation. And why is Biden’s agenda in jeopardy, despite the fact that most of his policies are popular and Democrats control Congress? And why is a moron who lost an election months ago, and has brought his party nothing but ruination, still in a position of absolute power within the conservative realm? 

Hey, maybe he’s the crone.

Did you ever think about that?

Thursday
Apr292021

God Is Dead… Or at Least Dying

Like just about every Latino of my generation, I was raised Catholic.

And just like many Americans under the age of 60, I am no longer religious.

Yes, you have no doubt heard that for the first time, less than half of American adults are members of a church, mosque or synagogue, and that the “number of people who identify as non-religious has grown steadily in recent decades.”

But wait, it gets worse (if you’re the god-fearin’ type), because it’s not just those vague “non-religious” people whose numbers are increasing. We’re also seeing more straight-up atheists, who were thought to constitute about 3% of the population but whose actual percentage “could be much larger, perhaps even 10 times larger than previously estimated.”

Yikes! That’s a lot of godless heathens running around.

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Thursday
Apr222021

Slightly Inaccurate

You use just 10% of your brain.

Chameleons change color to match their surroundings.

The Great Wall of China is the only human-made object visible from space.

These are all well-established, commonly known “facts” that are, alas, completely wrong. To this list of misconceptions, untruths, and erroneous assertions, we must add another whooper.

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Thursday
Apr152021

The Never-ending Crisis

In 1937, a young Cuban woman became America’s first “illegal immigrant.”

No, she wasn’t the first person to enter the country without permission (that would be Christopher Columbus). But when the New York Times wrote about Sara J. Rodriguez’s attempted suicide, she became the first person to be described as an “illegal immigrant” in an American news story.

Naturally, the bastards would start all this off by slandering a Latina. Damn.

In any case, the subsequent decades have seen terms such as “illegal immigrant,” “the undocumented,” or even “the brown invasion” used to describe people who cross or crowd America’s southern border.

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